sade:
Ladies. I’ve had it up to here (if you could see me I would be dramatically frowning and raising my palm to eye-level) with the whole “I’m just one of the guys” act you’ve got going on. That’s right, I see through it. Everyone knows one of these faux-bros. They’re usually intimidatingly hot, and they hang out at dive bars on a Tuesday night. They may be deep in conversation with a group of men (hint: it’s not her necklace they’re staring at!) about burping, farting and the huge dump she took at work that day. Congratulations, you’ve encountered the most annoying female of them all: the bodily-functions-bitch. She claims it’s easier to hang out around men, and that she’s just never been a girl’s girl. Well, the fact of the matter is, she has no girl friends because she’s a fucking bitch. Yep, normal women with half a brain see through her pathetic charade. But can we say anything? Nope, otherwise we look like the jealous, uptight, prissy chick. We have to grin and bear it, as they say. Well no more. I’m done with these Megan Fox-esque retards. There is a difference between being cool while maintaining your dignity and acting like you were plucked right out of a southern trailer park, and then registered into the Courtney Love School of Etiquette. Now, I understand you’re all insecure and you’ve got some serious daddy issues, so you feel the need to over-compensate, but for the love of all things holy…stop trying so hard. This brings me to the second most annoying female: the sportz-lover. “OMG you guys, that game was AWESOME. I’m so glad I picked up this pink version of my boyfriend’s favourite team’s jersey! I love beer and nachos and cursing! I eat whatever I want, I don’t care, I’m one of the dudes!” Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Do I even want to get into it? You all know where I’m going with this one. I’ll spare you another rant. To tie this all together, a quote from the Queen of these idiots, Miss Megan Fox.
“From what I’ve experienced, women aren’t good friends to one another. When guys want to hang out with you because your personality is badass, women immediately hate you.”
Again, nope…I have many amazing friends and 90% of them are women. You’re just a giant self-absorbed bitch. News flash! Guys aren’t hanging out with you because your ”personality is badass”, they’re hanging out with you and putting up with your scat talk because there’s a chance you’ll get really wasted off Jager and let them finger you in the parking lot.
I rest my case.
Amen.
Cameron Diaz is a repeat offender.
agreed. Pretentious bitches. On the flip side, I do know some girls who are genuinely “just one of the guys” and don’t necessarily try to be. They just happen to like doing the same things that most guys (and not very many girls) like to do. But I only know that they are genuine because they don’t have to explain to guys every fucking minute of every fucking day that “oh, I do this, I’m just like a guy, see? This proves that I’m the coolest female ever and I can hang. Yeah, I totally like to do guy things. I’m so not into girl things”. Another reason I can tell the legit tomboys from the fakers is because it’s most common to see the fakers profess their “manliness” to their guy friends while they’re in front of a bunch of girls…repeatedly). If that’s the case, you might as well just tell them you have a dick and balls too. The end.
Personally, I tend not to trust women who don’t have girlfriends. I can’t put my finger on it but it’s just a big red flag that she’s got serious issues and/or is a bit of a whore who needs a lot of guys around her so she feels special.
